I have always been a true believer – a passionately committed lifelong Liberal and a devout Socialist since college. First, let me say that I don’t discuss socialist theory with people who don’t know the difference between a Communist and a Socialist; or between a Utopian, Liberal, Libertarian, Ethical, Fabian or Democratic Socialist. Suffice it to say that I am not nor have I ever been a Communist or an Anarchist. Further, as I near 70 with many battles behind me, some won and some lost with the scars to prove it, and with many fewer years left to live than I have lived, I invite anyone who doesn’t like my politics to kiss my beautiful Italian ass at high noon on Main Street in any city of their choice.
Like I said, I have always been a true believer – in the common good, human rights, social and economic justices and peace. I believe that labor is just as important as capital because they share a reciprocity that is only misunderstood or denied by the greedy and the corrupt.
I have always stood up for my beliefs. I have marched, written, spoken out, demonstrated, engage in civil disobedience and gone to jail for my trouble. I have done all of this because I truly believed in this country’s ability to evolve, to reach for its highest and best purpose. I am having trouble believing in this country on this day.
Through whatever mechanism, Republican hubris, Democratic stupidity, misguided and empty defiance or just plain apathy, we have placed a narcissistic monster in the highest office in the land. The monster has filled the halls of power with deceit and corruption. His cabinet is a Petri dish full of vicious and stunted personalities with the moral compass of the Ebola virus. Trump himself is a conman and an extortionist; holding the lives of children as leverage against the United States Congress in order to facilitate his xenophobic, white nationalist, extreme isolationist agenda. Making our allies furious while he sucks up to every murderous despot in the world, this crook is insane. Wrapping himself in the flag, Trump spits on everything this country stands for, everything this country represents in the world and at home. My grandfather and father, veterans of WWI and WWII respectively did not fight for Trump’s America. My friends with their names carved on a black wall in D.C. did not die for Trump’s America.
Why have we committed this hideous, egregious, near suicidal betrayal of ourselves? Well, for a few dollars on the common person’s income tax return; for a promise of the return of jobs made obsolete decades ago; for the privilege of blaming immigrants for “taking” jobs offered to them by American business owners to cheap to pay American citizens; and for some the vacuous comfort of tribalism, hatred and bigotry.
My moral dilemma today is simply this. My doctors tell me I am too old for the fight. My therapist tells me that there is only so much fighting anyone’s psyche can sustain. My Goddess tells me that the cruelty of Trump’s America is crushing my soul, and my soul is my center. Yet can anyone be morally responsible and turn away? Can anyone say I am finished with so much wrong and so much more at stake?
Most of you know that next to my beloved husband, my cats and my roses there is one great love in my life. That would be the exquisite thoughts and poetry of William Shakespeare. I have read and studied his work for many years. Today more than any other day I truly understand the chronic indecision of his greatest character, Hamlet.